Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Rule One

A friend and I developed what was soon to be called: Rule One. The only provision to it was to never assume anything.

Women, in my opinion do not understand Rule One. I say this because I have met a lot of them who seem to make it a habit to assume a lot of things, especially things about guys. For example, a guy treats you like a princess. What's the first thing you assume? He likes you. Buzz. Nope. A lot of guys (trust me on this one) are just trying to preserve the gentleman's genes. So, yes, he does like you as a friend. Nothing more than that. Your reaction: He should die.

Another example: your best friend is going out with this absolutely impossible-to-be-your-friend type of guy. You tell her that he's not the man for her. She tells you, he's perfect. You assume she's insane. Dear, she is not. She is merely exercising her right to be happy, not just with you.

Guy at work is a pig. That's what you assume. What you don't know is that he is the most caring, honest, and sincere person in your whole office. Also goes with the other girl you hate the most.

You assume that men are ALL pigs. My advice - Rule One.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Epidermal Outgrowths and Such

There is only ONE thing that women have in common - their vanity towards hair.

For a woman, there is no such thing as a bad hair day. It will never be counted as just a day. Most of the time it's just bad hair, that is, in her own perspective. And as long as there is a mirror around, those loathsome locks would never go away.

I have to be honest. A lot of times I would not notice whether there was a change in some woman's hair (even if she did made it obvious for me to see), especially those who have longer-than-above-the-shoulder types. They'd say, "Doesn't it look great?" I'd say, "Where've you been?" No, my eyes don't fail me. It's just that men can't possibly spend more than $10 to have a "trim."

Rebonding. Hot oil treatments. Shampoo? Sometimes women do all of these. And I still can't tell the difference. But what ticks me more is the fact that a lot of times, these same women will get frustrated that they don't have "that look" to boot, for their dress or shoes, or sometimes, even for their partner. Invite a guy to wait for you while you get that perm, and we'll be able to find out all the celebrities and their beauty secrets simply by reading those worthless fashion magazines that're only available in your local hair salon. And when the "tadaaa" finally comes up, all we can say will be, "that looks great honey," with a grin. I might be lying, I might not. Who could tell. You won't like what we'll say anyway because you'll still want more done on those black, blonde, or brunette glory of yours.

Your man will never think ill of you because of your hair. Face it, we don't care. You can even go for that G.I. Jane look. Personally one who can do that will certainly be at the top of my book, as long as this woman can be confident enough to feel that it will never be how those dead cells in your head are twined and twisted. It will always be you, who you are to the guy you think you love.

Eventually it will all be done and over and in a couple of days that hair treatment (expensive ones too) will be washed out into the drain. And your man will simply say the same thing. "You look great honey."

Thursday, August 10, 2006


Having come from a recent breakup herself, she asked me: "What's wrong with you guys? Why are men so neglectful?"

I thought about that deeply. Hers was a sincere point, something that seemed to have been spawned by so many a generalizations. To top it off, she gets the idea from my ex-significant other. I've heard that before pertaining to me: "You were neglectful, that is why you two fell apart." Regrettably, I guess it was true.

And then this thought came to mind: "Men are neglectful, in many cases, but women," I thought. "Women have always been distrustful."

I told my friend this and she was looking at me like I was joking. "Women don't trust men when we tell them we love them so much." I gave her examples. Women, in my opinion, will always think that forgetting a special occasion in the relationship is an unpardonable sin. Men who commit this are not only neglectful, they also do not deserve the woman's trust. They will never believe that there is such a thing as an honest mistake. They will never believe that the men still love them.

The conditions will always be set with women. "This and this and this will prove to me that you love me." I say it is a show of lack of faith towards your man. The consequence of neglect is the withdrawal of trust.

Finally my friend told me that I had a fine point with that argument. So she asked next, "What do we do to solve that then?" I told her, "Men should stop being neglectful, and the women have to trust them."

A Brief . . . Intro

A couple from the US comes to visit us over here at the islands, and I learned that his wife was trueblood the same as my ethnic background. I have become fond of westerners after about more than three years working with them, and so I struck gold with our conversations.

The couple ended up telling us how they met, what they thought of each other, how they parted ways the first time, and ended up marrying each other. It was a great story, but a concept just kept popping up that made me think: What are women and why do men so foolishly love them? He replies: "Because women are evil."

I promised everybody that I was going to write a book about it. Of course, all this publishing hassle just wouldn't cut it. So why not start now? My thoughts are yours. Let the bashing begin.